sentimental tunes

oh dear, i just WISH that things were easier, or that deciding was easier...
you realize...that is a crooked pic, it needs to rotate! hehe
i am very very very very very joyful right now, no particular reason except that my heart feels full to bursting!
sometimes i wish i could erase certain memories altogether. but then again, wouldnt it be better to hold them close, eventually over come them, and than keep them always, as precious memories. yes, no memory should be forgotten, they should be treasured.
so, there are two choices, and either one would make me so incredibly delighted that i just dont know. oh, and this is secret. i guess time will tell, either way i am happy, i am just so blessed. if i could, i would that is for certain!
eternal love to you all! xoxoxoxo

GASP

Oh Dear. If You're A Girl, You Should Shave Your Armpits. If You Dont... Ok... But Please Dont Raise Your Hand While Wearing A Tanktop.

Just taking a few short moments...

Christmas is nearly here! i like that.
i have downed 60 oz's of orange juice in the past seven hours. i like that.
i have been sick for five days. i dont like that.
but today, i'm feeling much better. i like that! =]
i have a bowtie from Ricky. i like that.
today i went to work and did web orders all on my own. i like that.
yes, there is a lot to like, =].
peace.

Listening to: Happier by a fine frenzy
Where is my life right now? The fast lane to the future. I am feeling it now, and I am excited, frightened, thrilled. I get to graduate, quiet probably with my AA. I get to attain my license, which means I will be able to work more. Work two job (we all know what job is my favorite). Then, beauty school!
I am attempting to remain optimistic though some people really know how to rain on my parade… like REALLY know how.
So Finals are FINALLY through, which is a good thing cuz I was about ready to lose it.
I am quiet happy with certain things right now, =] I cant tell you what tho, I wouldn’t want to jinx it… and even if it does turn out, I think circumstances still call for it to be a hush hush matter. At least in certain places and with certain company that I would normally include in this… we will see =] or I guess this time, just I will…
I FREAKING LOVE THE SEVENWATERS SERIES by juliet mariller. They are my literary crack, and I wish more people knew just how amazing those books are! But they are thick and intimidating so I cant convince ppl to read them all legit like! I love them tho, the characters are so close to my heart tho they are not real… that’s painful to say…
Next time I take a chance, I’m gonna make sure any result is worth it. At least now I know myself better and what it is I need is clearer to me.
Peace out! Time to dance while the diamonds fall!

Final Days

I am worried with how life is right now. its not how i want it and i just keep thinking "just get through spring quarter and your life will really start," but now i realize that isnt the case... and i realize i'm not who i always wanted to be, and i no longer want to be the person i used to envision, yet i dont want to be the person i am either. on the bright side, i now know the problem and will strive to correct it.
peace.

"where there is love there is pain"

a moment of random ramblings:
i want to go to mannings. today.
gonzaga basket ball is BACK! woot!
i am oh so excited for new moon! exceptionaly so!
i saw a bear today.
i'm buying one of my comfort series, the sevenwaters trilogy.
i like to drive, shifting isnt so bad.
my ring is super de duper awesome!
today i'm staying at my cousins, should be fun.
i dont want this to keep up because it's burning me outtt.
my favorite scent is the smell of hair dye.
peace.

You tell me you’re fine, no reason to cry. Now tell me again, and try not to lie.

Listening to: Goodbye by secondhand serenade
I’m feeling a bit put out, and I’m gonna give it one last shot… and only one, cuz I can’t keep up with the hot and cold, highs and lows.
I’m glad this week is almost over.
The truth is… you were trouble to begin with.
i get my ring today i think! *fingers crossed* i'm so excited! =]

I just gave myself the shivers.

Listening to: Please be sure to read the fine print - cute is what we aim for
“I spend more time in front of mirrors than any gent should.” haha I love this song, it’s classy.
I have had a headache for days, and it wont go away. =[ its worse early in the morning and then again from about 4 till I fall asleep, I really wish it would go away.
I am so blessed to have the best soul brothers. Truly it is amazing, I don’t deserve them. David (my for real brother), Jake, Corbz, Nate, Clayton, Austin, I don’t know how I scored so with each of you, but I love you all! Thanks so much for all the support! Especially as of late lol.
This week is insanely stressful at Clark. I have far to much work to do and not nearly enough time!
The best times are made in swing dance with Brie and Katie! =] “bird, bird, bird.”
Brie and Re educated me a lot the other day. I don’t think I needed to know any of it, because they say its all, “common sense.” but it wasn’t included in “my common sense,” so… I just dunno.
Random rambling:

“I could say that I will always be here for you, but that would be a lie and quiet a pointless thing to do.”

Congrats Dawn on your new addition to the family! =]

“This is the first time I’ve seen myself in this mirror with clothes on… that’s not what I meant!!!”

I am so excited to get my ring from Jake! CANNOT WAIT! XD

I love meat. I will get it 100 percent back on Saturday! =]

Its been months since I cried last, I need to, I think it would help.

“What is the boy word for slut?”
“I don’t think there is one, that’s not very fair.”

Anyways, peace out dears! I hope you have delightful days ahead of you! xoxoxoxoxo

oh my word you are like a freaking rainbow in my rainy sky!

the other day two random strangers commented on my smile, a very sweet old man who said, “the sunshines out, but your smile young lady does more for me than the sun ever could.” and a lady who said, “you have a great smile. It’s like that character in batmans smile, only beautiful.” I didn’t know how to take that! Compliment or insult? I look like the joker? Who I am scared of. Oh lovely lol
My family is silly, we are all addicted to yatzee at the moment and have been playing 50 games a day, at least lol. My dad cheats at it. Just saying.
At work poor Jake got a virus on his computer. A porn virus no less. The most… awkward and embarrassing kind, lol. I felt bad for him, he turned it off and covered the screen with cardboard, that doesn’t get rid of the virus, but it does protect virgin eyes lol.
I want time, I want to be done with this quarter, I want summer time back, I have realized… I have been going day to day just to get to next year when I get to start at Mannings… how silly is that, that the most exciting part of my future is starting at beauty school… I just want the next few quarters to go swiftly and smoothly so I can finally start!
i love dancing, yes i do. and i love strangers, and people you barely know who treat you like your worth something to them even though you have no value to them. i love new friends.


points to follow:
* Mimic a stranger.
* Smile at everyone who looks like they need a bit of cheer.
* Dont freak out when a random stranger offers you their umbrella.
* if you're being stalked act crazy and they'll leave you alone.
* It’s not your every day circumstance, but dont freak out, try to enjoy it.
* when you feel like crying, eat a resses peanut butter cup instead.
* learn to do the strawberry dance!
* sometimes a stranger you meet just a few times will bless you for a lifetime.

peace out everyone hope you're lives are fine as apple pie!
i love you all!
~Manda
xoxoxoxoxo

*sigh*

if there's a rocket tie me to it
by snow patrol

Two weeks later like a surplus reprieve
I found a hair the length of yours on my sleeve
I wound it round and round my finger so tight
It turned to purple and a pulse formed inside

And I knew the the beat 'cause it matched your own beat
I still remember it from our chest to chest and feet to feet
The easy silence then was a sweet relief to this hush
of ovens, aeroplanes and of distant car horns

A fire, a fire
You can only take what you can carry
A pulse, your pulse
It's the only thing I can remember
I break, you don't
I was always set to self-destruct, though
The fire, the fire
It cracks and barks like primal music

I said I knew the beat 'cause it matched your own beat
It's become my engine, my own source of heat
The sea between us only amplifies the sound waves
Every hum and echo and crash paints my cave

The only thing I can remember.

This blog may be a bit provocative compared to any of my others, I have found it better to avoid blogging about direct situations in my life. Because its better to avoid drama, and things that don’t concern certain individuals. I don’t want to deal with current things coming back to me, ya know? But here’s a semi-”juicy” addition, this wont occur often btw. Nothing bad tho, just things I don’t really talk so much about publicly.
So here are a bunch of current situations:
Moving out! - so Brie and I are figuring out when we are going to get an apartment together! I’m sooo excited! It will be AMAZING! But first, I want you to know we aren’t moving out because of our families. We both have amazing relationships with our parents and siblings, and truly want to stay with them. The deal is tho, that we both live so far out that when Brie starts at WSU, and I start at Mannings, it just makes more sense to live in town. Less gas, less travel time, more sleep, more available hours to work, and for me, electricity. Lol so anyways, we are figuring when she’s 18 and I’m 19, we should be financially able to rent an apartment together! No guarantees but that’s our current thought!
So yesterday in Sociology we went about toilet papering ourselves and walking through the halls! Lol we each had to keep and wear a section of it for the duration of the day, it’s a symbol of our right of passage as B.S. students. B.S. standing for budding sociologist, not for where your mind just traveled. Lol, sociology is the most entertaining class I’ve ever had I think.
Some stranger asked me yesterday, “do you want to touch my abs?” I was so shocked and horrified who just asks that!??! So I just was like, “that’s really strange,” and walked away. Maybe they had to do it for a class? I hope so, no one should actually behave like that.
I’m noticing that I really love swing dance, its so much fun! And oh wow do you ever burn the calories! There are so many guys in the class to so you get more practice with a partner. A lot of the guys are nice, some not as much. But you get a lot of flattering comments, which I must admit helps the ego. Lol there’s one lead who is super fun, tho slightly freaky to me lol. He goes overboard on the compliments. He always gets super excited when we dance together he’ll be like, “Finally I get you back!” then pick me up in a hug and spin me around. Yesterday he asked me if I was married or engaged, because of my rings. He also asked me out, which I declined, and asked me to swing dance club, which I declined. The truth is, he’s a good dancer, but he is to enthused with me, and I’m not really available. ;] lol he’s pulled a few inappropriate moves too, tho I don’t think he meant to. It’s pretty cool tho cuz he does awesome lifts tho they arent in the dances we’ve learned. There’s also some leads who just criticize your dancing, and they are obnoxious lol.
I went on a field trip to Ridgefield, it was DRAMATIC, haha. Nadia, Katie, and I, went to the wrong entrance looking for our class. We went in a wrong way road, and the park ranger chewed us out major. Lol we also almost ran over a bird, and nearly lost a tire. It was quiet the adventure, I think we were just being drama queens since we couldn’t find our class and ended up being late, which cost us a bunch of points. Which wasn’t cool, but we had fun. Haha.
The difference between Christian and Hypocrite. Christians are the joyful ones who say things in love, and you can see that they are genuine and unshakable. Hypocrites are the ones that put themselves on pedestals and condemn you for your every mistake or even over nothing. Both get viewed as “strong Christians” but let me tell you, I’d never want to be a hypocrite, if that’s a strong Christian, then I don’t want to be one, but its not a strong Christian. I truly strive to be the other, because I believe that it is a reflection of Christ that the world needs to see. The other is what repels ppl from Christianity. So it’s wrong, working only for the “glory” and advantage. Anyways…
I guess this is ridiculously long,
Hahaha
So farewell loves,
Peace out! don’t forget to shimmy dance!

I was always set to self destruct

Listening to: If there’s a rocket tie me to it - snow partol
I love manga, and anime! I am like… craving… death note. Haha
I need to take tons of pictures this fall! with all of, YOU! Haha so remind me loves! When we’re together just say “picture time!” and we will begin a merry happy photo shoot!
I am so excited to buy Christmas presents! Woot!
funniest lecture EVER:

“That is quiet a shimmy dance.” *sigh*

"you want sex?"
"i'll kill you."

The vegetarian thing, is not working or me! 2 weeks and 3 days to go!
“all physical contact is a sin. Holding hands, is a sin.” talk about dramatic lol
so this week is sort of like... major suckage. lol but oh well it can only get better!
i love you all!
peace out!!

you can search your soul and find no light

Listening to: sound of melodies by Leeland
Oh gosh! Do I ever miss my Leeland! This band is like no other, somehow they keep me looking ahead, to the future and the whole point I’m on this earth. I keep waiting for them to lose their magic, but they don’t. to all you that say you hate them, well you’re stupid. Haha jk, but really if you dislike them, keep it to yourself, lol cuz I’m naming my future son Leeland!!! =P
So Dawn, she’s the best! She knows my mommy thinks cookie dough will kill you to eat, and that I love cookie dough… so she made me some! The very best kind too! I ate it all like a little glutton! Haha =] thanks so much Dawn, it was divine, and you’re right it made me feel even more loved then a prank does!
So I’ve started driving AT LAST! =] I’m learning on a stick so it’s a bit difficult, but I’m making progress! If only I could conquer adjusting the seat! I think it wacks me in the head every time I try scooting it forward… how dumb.
So school has been good this fall quarter, I’m almost through with the 4th week??, and though I have a lot of stories I could tell about it… I don’t want to be a bore to you talking about classes all like I have no social life. Lol
So on my few - but wonderful - breaks I get some time with people! =] mostly I spend them with Brie Love, Jeremiah =], Andrew, or Corbz, because they actually have coinciding breaks! XD
Wow my life is sounding dull to you I’m sure, but its actually been in one of the most wonderful of times, it is true =].

I need… to dance, so farewell dears!
I love you all, three worlds full!
Peace out!

you can tell everybody that this is your song

listening to: new in town by little boots.
moulin rouge is my new favorite movie. i love the music!!! :) but it's so... trajic... yet i still love it.
so i'm trying to change my style up some, get some indie rock awesomeness going on. :) it's going... i dont really know, i actually keep buying plaid shirts and super comfy sweatshirts soooo yeah not exactly the plan, but at least its different!
life is really super great right now... only complaints are that i'm like always sick, and i dont get enough time with certain people lately. but other than that i got nothing but sunshine sparkle and morning glow! haha i cant take credit for that genius line though, that is purely david greene and his super fabulous mind! :)
updates on my life:
*i'm re reading the whole twilight series in time for new moon this november, how nerdy.
*a lot of pranking has been going on at work lately, it makes us all feel so "loved" to find our coworkers took their time to tamper with our belongings. warm fuzzys!!! haha jk
*my sociology class makes you embarass yourself deliberatly to get reactioins from people, how mature.
*"charlie! it's a flaming tennnis ball charlie! yeah a flaming tennis ball!"
peace out have an epic week!

you are the one sight my eyes never tire of

listening to: she moves in her own way - the kooks
certain songs just make my day everytime i hear them!
some of those songs are:
you dont know me - ben folds feat. regina specktor
bruises - chairlift
dustland fairytales - the killers
litzomania - phenoix
i dont really know why it is these songs but everytime i hear them without expecting it i just impulsivly clap my hands and do a happy dance lol.
so u know the mexican mafia? well i had a strange conversation about them the other day...
ME: "so what exactly does the mexican mafia do??"
RE: "they kill. steal. and. destroy."
ME: "why would they do that?"
MOMMY: "because they work for satan!"
ME: "they grow drugs for satan?"
it was funny. lol because my mom said it so seriously haha.
do you know... the "universal sign for swan?" lol
oh goodness i'm high energy right now.

joyfulness!!!

i am soooo happy!
my day has just been made!!! when brie gets back from work i have got to tell her everything! and i got to tell jake like NOW, but i cant =( lol.
this weekend its just brie and i at her house, which so far has been a BLAST! it makes us feel grown up lol.
so we stayed up till past three last night watching movies and talking. we got fake nails to apply, but we have to get our nail polish off before we can put them on. they will be pretty tho!
oh my goodness i am sooo happy!!! XD
life is good!

It makes me smile. Because you said it best.

Listening to: Annie - safety suit (new favorite band? Idk but they are AWESOME! You need to check them out!!! Thanks to mitch for showing them to me!)
I’m sooo excited for this weekend!!! Brie and I are going to get the whole weekend just the two of us! Its about time! We need some grown up best friend bonding time! =] I’m so hyped! AHHH! I love my brieo burrito friend! (girl you are the sunshine in my world!)
Oh yes! I cut sarahs hair like super short and it looks AMAZING, lol. I don’t mean it conceitedly, but she does look gooood haha. And Nate is asking me to cut his hair, and I think I’m going to! EEKK!! First guy who’s hair I will cut, and he’s a coworker/brother/friend who has fabulous hair. Lol we’ll see!
This week has been wonderful, tho I have been informed of some hurtful things concerning friends, and myself… but life continues, and I’m gonna try not to let this get to me. Because I could risk a lot by taking it as truth without getting the other side. But its something I want to keep secret, but hurts a bit much to do so, so I will talk to someone about it. Because some things hurt whether theres truth in it or not. ANYWAYS! Besides those things, life is cheery. =]
I got to talk to a friend I haven’t seen in a long time, and that was enjoyable. =]
So, here are some recent random, and strange quotes from this week lol:

“Incest is the best!”

“So I started counting the numbers of the alphabet in my head”

“She is a member of the rancidian tribe… and so it’s a ritual to show thanks to the amphibians of the world.”
“ By playing leap frog with a razor?”

“It says, kyle.”
“No. it says coyote.”
“It says car.”

I hope you all are enjoying your week!
Peace out loves! My thoughts and prayers will be with you all!

YoU maKe StEaLinG HeARts LoOk sO eAsY.

Listening to: Naïve Orleans - Anberlin
So I went camping a few days ago, and it was super. It was at my pastors house with a ton of little kids and a few teenagers. Here are some special or funny memories and pictures:
* Miley Miley Hannah game, it’s like duck duck goose turned disney channel lol
* “You had better shape up your look if you want to keep him” umm… ouch haha talk about an ego smasher lol
* My bedazzled blue sunglasses were a smash with like… everyone haha
* Hannah Montana in space game, it worked like a charm, the kids loved it and I have to admit I enjoyed it too lol.


* 20 questions =]
* “Married Jeremiah in Fiji, had one kid, drove a yellow jeep, lived in an outhouse, was a mongoose wrangler, julianna was my best friend, and I had a pet zebra” haha my future according to Alyssa’s mash.
* Early morning and evening conversations with Maga. Almost had me in tears, I love her so much.
* Ever get the feeling your name is a bad word?
* Cutting out a million rubber bands from maggies hair, why is that my element? Because I’m a weird freak of nature? Gee thanks.
* “Makeup time!” … “I prefer to call it a spa.”
* “Kassi, give me your towel?” our ode to last year haha
* Everyone knows that’s how you get famous. Or so they say.
* Whipped cream fight, =] always a party, tho I do wish to know who emptied their can in my shorts lol

* “Yeah, so far Washington’s my favorite.”
* “If we’re in neverland then he’s peter pan, you’re wendy, and I’m tinkerbell.” “if he’s peter pan then I’m not leaving neverland.”
* My alien named “buddy” =] he‘s a cutie and his name for me? “Nami!”
* “ummm… give me a piggy back ride… can you ummm… give me a piggy back ride?”
* The wood for salmon thing, gosh talk about a blond moment haha.
* vini j tipped backwards in his chair, I know its terrible but it was so… funny… haha
* Continuing tradition. =]
* Got away for like an hour, it was peaceful.
* I love kids, there’s a reason I want 15, haha jk that would be overwhelming! But I do love all those kids more then anything.
* “So why do you need that?” lol well let me tell you for a forth time,
* “You’re going to be a great mom”
* I don’t know why kids think its cool to say they are mad at you for making them do something when they actually beg you to do whatever it is lol but if it makes them feel better then whatever lol.
* Be my escape?
* The little girls wake you up every half hour or so, I couldn’t believe how often the oldest one did!

* Remaking of the tractor song haha
* oh so many other random things, that all add up to a lovely camping trip lol.


So I’m happy with life it’s a beautiful thing =]
Word to all of you:
Crack the shutters open wide
Hold on tight
And I have a feeling the future will be brighter still ;]

my trouble spot.

I suffer from some sort of narcotic repetitive emotional syndrome that is incurable.

you step up, i'll step up too.

i cant go back to a certain starbucks. because embarassing things happend there, lol that crazy lady who just asks a thing like that!? lol funny though
yay for jakes yummy treats today!!
"does everyone have a stalker? or are we just super dope people?"
i wish that when i dress frumpy everyone else in the world would too, that why i wouldnt spent the whole day wishing i had taken a little extra care of myself instead of just going with the lazy look. also, i've decided that the only days i can dress like a frump - like i did today - are days i'm around nate. lol he always tells me i look beautiful even tho i look like a slob lol he's just what i need on those frumpy days =]
oh, i got employee of the month :) i feel special :)

i need you to love me.

so heres a little insight of whats been going on in my life lately.
the wedding: it was beautiful, and i am so happy for my sissy and new brother. <3 it was just so... perfect lol, i was thoroughly impressed. there was minor misshaps with the cake and mommy's car being driven onto, but the ceremony was amazing. i know i'm bit bias but it was the most beautiful wedding i've seen. sarah - you looked so gorgeous i am so jealous! you have been an amazing example to me. and david - bro you make a wonderful husband to my sis, you are an answered prayer. =] those two make true love visible, and now i know i cant settle for less when something so beatiful is achieveable.
working: i realize just how much i love my job and my coworkers. even on a day like i had today - feeling tired and unmotivated - i enjoyed myself. i actually like doing things like tagging books and wheeling them away, i dont know... at least i can see what i'm accomplishing in a day. and my coworkers always cheer me up, i love their humor...

Dawn "ricky ignores me just like myk."
Ricky "...we learnd to together."

Jake "it would be weird if i just bit your arm..."

fake flicking boogers and random faces. yeah lol they are like family. and when i'm away from them i miss them like family lol.
friendship: i value uncomparably. and i am blessed with loving friends <3
boys: lol i am close with a lot of boys it seems. i am closest with the ones that are like brothers to me. but i'd never marry a brother so someday i'll have to get close with a best friend who doesnt feel like a soul sibbling to me. oh. and i dont do flings. mk.
Family: i love family. those that i am related to by blood, and those that are the family of the heart and soul. those that God forgot to give me by an aunt or an uncle, but those he gave me through friendship.
random things: i'm learning i can let go of old hurts and not worry so badly about being hurt again. i'm thinking of piercing my navel but i dont know if i should?? i am thinking a little clouser could be nice.

how can you trust that somewhere the suns always shining?

so i never told you all about CREATION!!! It was sooooo mind blowing! I cant believe I have to wait a whole year before going back =[
There’s sooo much to tell about it!!!
*First off… the heat! It was so bad u just felt like crying.
*And the bands! SKILLET ROCKED MY FACE OFF!!! Seriously they were so fabulous I felt like crying, plus they remind me so much of corbz, and 9th and 10th grade at cam. Skillet will forever be mine and corbz, always. And family force five… WOW. AND I FINALLY SAW RELIENT K!!!!!! hollah! And… the kutless concert…uhhh…lol
*The people there were fabulous! Since most were christian it was just this wonderful atmosphere… like a humongous family =] hugs and high fives all around. Literally.
*“HoTsss”
*first night lol awkward shadows on the tent…
*mosh pit… those WACKADO ladies that danced like this bksfgbdfkgbdkjfgkjdhgfkjdfkgj!!!! Hahaha I cant even explain it…
*“Suppp”
*”I remember hearing the thump thump thump of each blue berry”
*“RUN!!!”
*Stalking Jordan from pure energy… I seriously feel bad for him. Lol
*Playing cards with peeps
*5 dollar cokes that don’t have lids. RIDICULOUS!
*bonding with the youth group!!!
*Hahahahaha truth dare or double dare…
*new friends. Meeting ppl in the mosh
*I care (I care) you care (you care) we care (we care) I got your back (I got your back) lol or is it I can?
*bubbles they had to pop… or u would die
*getting sprayed… “no problem!… I LOVE YOU!”
*those fabulous spray bottles!!! Sadly brie and I only had ours for one day lol but they were like the BEST investment ever!
*the whole shorts situation and our solution…lol… roll them up high! Distract the guards.
*icewater!!
*moshing with everyone, we were hyper to an extreme degree
*seeing dustin
*”hey you look kind of cute.”
*they were finnnne ;)
*some moments I will forever remember but wont talk about because it was that awkward lol
that’s creation in a nut shell… I loved it. I want to go back…
but goodness did i ever miss all my work friends! lol i guess i'm ok with being back. =]

please stick around, i'll make you fall in love with me

listening to: help i'm alive by metric
i'm gonna start this with a HOLLAH! and end it with a creamsicle! =]
i'm feeling very joyful! david and sarah are now married! and i got an adorable new skirt from hollister. AND Re and i bought the third season of psych. and snow partol has a new cd. and i've decided to pierce my navel. and jake gave me breathe carolina and young love's cds and they are superb! AND i'm gonna schedule another appointment with diana and take the A line up several notches and go a bit darker on the color. =] not to mention i get to see the first step up movie tonight. so i'm happy. oh yes, and most mportantly, i think maybe i was wrong about something, and being wrong would make my day so very wonderful!

no you girls never know, how you make the boys feel. but you boys never care, how you make the girls feel.

i love my family so much. so so much lol. i'm gonna miss our beauitiful princess pants loads, now that she's getting married... in JUST 3 WEEKS!! wow, but i love david unfathomably too! <3>

so...

creaton is coming up, and i'm sooo psyched!

but monday, i'm going to the lake with Re and jeremiah, which should also be fabulous.

and today, we had sissy sarah's bridal shower, and it went splendidly too.

so, i wathced new in town. it was a very cute and funny movie! :)

random observationish thoughts:

* the worst thing is when you're dad walks in on you singing and dancing in your room.

* franz ferdinand is super fabulous (in a not gay way.)

* AE has fabulous clerence items right now.

i know the scars on your legs, see them in my head

i love life. just saying, it's beautiful. ALWAYS for some reason it is. and... you make me happy wether you know it or not. ;)

now that concludes my random rambilings. :) for now. i think. i'll endeavor to make it stop. i will.

so i have been spending a lot of time at the lake, it's been fabulous! last time RE and i went with jacob snyder. gooood times lol. we could tell a few stories, fo sho. but we wont ;) cuz i am out of it right now, and cuz we're going again in awhile woot woot! lol

work was it's usual fun filled time! dawn and i got soooo much done! and it fried our brains! lol or at least it fried mine. hehe can you tell??

i have millions of pics to upload. oui'. this will be funnn!

so i went to mannings. yet again. i would stay all day there if i could. the smell of dye and such bothers most ppl... but i like it lol it like is a comforting scent or something... weird. i am not liking how long i have to wait before i go there... but it will be more than worth it! i believe it will be :) :) :) diana straightend my mom's hair, and it made her look so much different, younger, and not like my mommy. lol but gooood! :)

1-2-3-4

:) creation is coming up sooooon! how thrilling! woot!

i'm in a mood. a random mood. not good, i'm gonna get on Re's nerves lol.

you break it... you should really buy it.

so i finished up with inventory early today! yay! it went pretty smoothly, i got to use the little pricer gun dealio with made these strange sounds, but it was pretty tight. and i got to see my friends at work FINALLY! just for your own info - i love you guys! and missed you much. and dont forget to create me that fabulous cd jake! ;) so today was good, aside from signing cindys initials 33 for some random reason, all went well. :)
i've been busy remodeling my room now that sarah just moved out. it's been fun, but a whole TON of work, and it's not near finished yet! sad... and it's really making me miss sarah!! A LOT!
i had a lot of fun talking with ppl this weekend tho!
i went to mannings! i CANNOT WAIT to go there! i am soooo stoked. :) so i had diana dye and cut my hair, and she did an amazing job... oh gosh i love mannings! one day this grasshopper will be there! if i could enroll now i so would!
OHHH! brie, Re, jac, and i went to the beach last saturday. and it was BOMB! lol we had several strange moments with ppl, like we played the foot game a few places... so imagine everyones reactions. in marshes museum, lol, we each sat in the passion tester machine and gave it a go... hysterical! :) and there was this shirt that was "made for me" but i didnt get it :P and weirdest of all was this lil ten year old kid. he had like a million toys in his pockets, and was completely obsessed with brie and her MUAWHAS... wow. he took a video... and bit the leg off his toy chicken. lol it was WEIRD! but, the beach was amazing! thanks re for taking us! oh... and skunks DO hibernate, just not in the summer... or on the beach... but they do!
so here's my random thought today:
i dont understand, thats why i dont put actions to these feelings, because i dont know how long it will last.
peace out all u ppl who have sat on the throne of passion!
lol love to all my freak hearts!

look inside your tiny mind. and then look a bit harder.

listening to: lily allens - never gonna happen
here's what i've been up to since my last post...
* i dyed sarah and heidi's hair, they both look FABULOUS!
* heidi got lily allens newest cd... and i love it! it gets pretty risque, but i still like it... i know it's terrible!
* i went swimming... 3 times? it was divine! lol i absolutly love it! it was the first time i've been out in public in a bikini...lol (i think there's a alligator in our lake...creepy.) and RE and i went to creseap... it was bomb! hehe those dorky boys...
* i also went to the beach on sunday =] it was so cold and windy!
* also, i wrote a bit in my novel. mostly i've been refining the first chapter, which covers mika and justin's perspectives 2x each. it's been pretty fun =]
* i cleaned my room, it's not done just yet, but i worked on figuring out how i'm gonna re-do it now that sarah's moving out, so it's taking longer then usual.
* i finally learned how to tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue!!! which made me incandecently happy! =]
* i went to the y/g all nighter, and it was bomb!
* i re-read fruits basket... i love that series. it somehow makes me re-focuse and find my values again. lol
so that's all i can think of right now... but i think i probably did other things too that just arent connecting with my brain at the moment.
OH! sarah palin is like a super awesome lady, and i wanna grow up to be as strong as her! YOU ROCK SARAH!

picture this when you go to kiss

listening to: jer coons legs

ok my new favorite song is the above. jer coons is AMAZING! you all should listen to his music!

this weekend was pleasant overall. i spent some time out on the porch swing writing my novel. i'm having so much fun with it! overall the story is centered around a couple high schoolers, and i'm writing it from alternating perspectives of the two main characters, mika, and justin. i'm trying to keep it realistic and believeable. cuz most books about teenagers arent, and that gets annoying. anywas, i may eventualy post segment of it on here!

i also watched anime over the weekend. one was called my neighbor totoro, and it was ADORABLE! =] it was so cute it had me in tears. it is all about the adventures of these two little sisters, i've never seen a movie capture childlike innocence that well before. so i think you all should watch it. it's right up there with howls moving castle if you ask me!

mY HeART cAnT ResT TiLL thEN

Get to know me a little better:

* i love saying random words and sentences in spanish. because i can... zapatos!

* my favorite breakfast is french toast. i make it every saturday morning. it's best with peanut butter and syrup... yummm, so bomb!

* it's strange but i always point at people or things when i'm shocked or excited. it's a bad habit, beacause pointings rude... i'll have to conquer it. just not today =]

* i love to read. twilights my favorite series, but i have comfort books, which are breaking dawn, and fruits basket.

* when i hear electronica or techno music i immediatly get excited and want to dance. but i try not to.

* someday i'm going to have a yellow jeep. before i wanted a yellow car, but then i saw a yellow jeep, and it was love! oh... but yesterday i found out my friend Ricky has a yellow jeep... and i am eternally jealous.

* i cant screw bottle caps back onto bottles to save my life. it's just a skill i dont posses.

sometimes i think sitting on trains.

so it is officialy summer! YAY! my heart just did a one eighty... uhh... summersault?

i really love the band breathe carolina... a lot. :)
they're electronica/indie/screamo and rather fabulous if i may say so myself.

so the other day, while jacki was in drivers ed, brie, heidi, and i went to find a park in battle ground... we found one. but it didnt have any swings! what kind of park doesnt have a swing set?! it did have a tire swing... but the tire was plastic and not very life like. but oh well!

i'm so sad about the whole jon&kate plus eight thing! like why are they getting a divorce! it's terrible! i think they need to rethink things, they have 8 children to concider. it all just makes me so sadddd. =(

work has been great all week, i'm kind of lacking motivation, but i get everything done and have a good time. i just need more sleep. lol

sarah and david's wedding is sneaking up on us real fast! it's crazy to think of them as a married couple. i'm excited tho! i know they will be good for eacother. but i really want to be an aunt, and they dont plan on making me one right away. =( but i want little kids in my life again all the time! i'm so sad i'm missing VBS! yeah, but no kids for sarah and david right away. i swear if you want something done you've got to do it yourself. NOT that i'm saying i'm gonna go get pregnant! lol NO WAY. but i'll just have to find more time for babysitting and such. =)

it's as if i'm scared - it's as if i'm terrified

i want to understand. from now on, i want you to listen to my grief, my happiness, and my feelings. just as i would listen to yours. all the pain, the fear, the missunderstanding, i want to know about it. so that we can cope with them together. i want us to be together... to eat meals, to study, and to worry together. i want us to be like that... together. we will face everything together.

i want to face all of this with you... lets live through this together.

Love me cancerously, kill me romantically.

Listening to: I’d rather be alone - Amely
I’m reading fruits basket again. Not many people know, but I really love manga. And every time I read fruits basket, I just feel uplifted, like I cant even explain it, but it makes me happy. =) there’s a fruits basket sticker book I saw that I want lol so silly.
I have a new obsession with drawing cartoon people. Lol mostly I draw my friends in a cartoon version of themselves.
You’re awful. I love you.
work today was great, all i did was a little corporate and TONS of book pulls! but i got to have some good convos with coworkers, and gosh, i love you guys so much =) really, it's true.
So there is this commercial that is so sweet it almost made me cry lol - I know it‘s ridiculous. It’s for at&t and so now I really love my network because it has good ads.
Bible study tonight, and today is corporate day for me at work, I get to drive! Goody!
Reasons for joy:
I got a new dress at AE
Family trip to the ape caves soon!
A lot of my friends are entering into relationships and that makes me happy because it’s really lifting their spirits.
Strawberries! They’re growing in our garden!
So there are certain times where people ask me how is it that I’m happy all the time. And in all honesty, it isn’t me so much as my relationship with God that has me so joyful. I just feel complete knowing I have a hope and a future that can’t be taken away from me. You cant take away my faith no matter how hard you try, it’s the only ever consistent thing in anyone’s life. It makes me confident and trusting and very joyful. That’s on the real.
oh, and so u all know... the guy sitting next to me, he looks like a scary guy from LOST, haha.
Peace out home skillets! Love and hugs!

A scientist just couldn’t fix this mess

Listening to: the walls of regret - the boy and his machine
Everyday, I find something to be joyful about. I mean sure life likes to dump on us all, but I just don’t let myself sacrifice all the good stuff happening for the few bad things. So I think I should start writing on each post my reasons to be joyful. Or the event that made my day.
Yesterday, there was two things that just stood out. One was jake and his cut out blue mustaches, I don’t know why but just the whole, “psst Amanda. (raises blue mustache above lips” sent me into giggles. I wont be sEVenTeEN forever. And then, there was dinner with my parents and Heidi. My mom was being so silly! Saying sentences wrong and not even noticing, she said something about a cow having to dodge a peacock on the road! And then Heidi said something ridiculous, that sadly my brain is drawing a blank on at the moment. It was just… cheerful. Reconnecting with old friends. And corbz when he told that receptionist that he wasn’t there to talk to her, but rather, there stalking me. Lol her face was priceless.
Oh and I saw a shirt that said “what’s up home skillet” on it and I felt immediate joy!
I know I sound rather… simple. And I guess I truly am. Its so easy to please me, just show me a bright piece of paper and I’ll smile.
So I saw the new moon trailer. Like six times =] I can’t wait till the movie comes out! It looks intense!
Anyways, that’s all for now.
Peace out home skillets =] h’s and k’s

Boys trick girls into thinking they like them. (Feels like high school)

Listening to: Happy Ending - Mika
I’ve noticed a weird quirk concerning the Harteloo trio of girls… We all share a mutual obsession with trendy sleepwear aka. we have pajama fetishes! But it gets worse. We each have a favorite style of pajamas. For Sarah, it’s the warm cozy ones (Wonder why we call her the ice princess). For Heidi, booty shorts (Cuz she gets to show off her stunner legs!). And for me, I like nightys, short - bright - summery ones! (I also like booty shorts but Re has me beat in that department). Anyways, it’s sort of strange, but overall Sarah has it the worst lol she has had this problem (so to say) of magnetic attraction to cute pjs longer than Heidi or I have had it.
I love college. ;)
Oh I am really liking the color yellow! Perhaps because brie and I are being continuously stalked by some guy in a yellow shirt? lol Or maybe because it’s like sunshine? But I want a yellow car, and this bomb pair of yellow sunglasses! Oh! And I just bought a yellow nighty tehe, and uhh, yeah, some other thing yellow, because I read about it in a book and impulsively mimicked it. Lol but.. Yes. Yellow. Is. Good.

Well today I’m in a golden mood, shall we see if it lasts? Well I guess we must!
Anyways, here’s to all my home skillets!
FYI, I love each of you so much! And I really appreciate all you contribute to the joyousness of my life! Peace out!

dO THiS FoR mE nOW

* The random lonely teddy bear, that we put on the old mans tractor. And he sat on it! Twice! lol

* Ricky teaching me to drive the cart, that was also one of the most embarrassing moments, to be hyperventilating in front of him. Especially now that I know I was freaked over nothing! But he was a bomb teacher, and extremely calm and patient.

* Swing dancing at clark.

* Bakery days!

* listening to Regina Specktor in art class.

* Shopping at the mall with Mitch, Heidi, and Jeff, probably the first guys I’ve shopped with that we’re actually enjoyable throughout the whole mall. Most guys are terrible shopping buddies lol.

* Dancing in the car at stoplights with brie and scaring people - especially that one guy. I think he started crying lol.

* Burgerville days with corbz.

* Jamba days! Oh man those were the best!

* Triebs class with Jameson, JR, Rachel, Katie, and Stevie! I think that was my fave class at clark just cuz our group was so bomb!

* Lunch breaks with Nate, he’s such a big brother!

* Catching squirrels at clark with brie ;). U know those squirrels are weird! They LET you catch them!

* Late nights at nanny’s with Heidi. Lol “it’s a pad! A pad! You threw a freaking PAD on me!!!”
* Youth group, small group is bomb lol J

* English 101, It was such a fun class, because the people in it were so cool!

* Sitting in the fountain area throwing a bottle around with corbz and brie, lol. We needed one more person to complete the realm of… uhh… “togetherness?”

* The foot game!!! The best game ever lol.

* Prom with brie, Katie, and Bryan! I think applebees was the best part tho lol

* Random talks with Jake. Lol “I’m to sexy to sweat!”

* Bowling with Heidi and Marshall, I think it’s awesome how he just doesn’t know what to think about me lol

DaNCing aT DisCO’s. EAtiNg chEesE oN tOAsT.

I’m so glad summer’s almost here. I really need a break from Clark. I mean I’ll still be there working, but it’s different. It’s not Clark itself I need a break from, it’s the classes and the influences I need away from. I don’t like that I’ve become desensitized to certain things. So I think summer will be a good time for refocusing and everything.

So I’m extremely excited for mannings! Only one more year and I can enroll! I cant wait till I’m a licensed cosmetologist!!!! I’m especially looking forward to learning different cuts, like for those emo guys with the bomb fo hawks, or dramatic styles like wedges and such for girls. And I’m excited to get my hands and scissors in certain peoples hair! Lol but here’s the dilemma. So, well, I think life is good. Mostly has ups. But here’s a down concerning this. Very few people are supportive when I say I want to be a cosmetologist. I don’t know why but these are the reactions I get; “you will get you’re AA first right? Incase you decide to get a career.” “Why waste your brain?” “That will earn you a living?” “Seems shallow to me, but at least it’s a form of art I guess.” Seriously, those are the reactions I get. And it does bother me a bit I must admit. =/ Like why is it brainless and shallow? And well, it’s kind of my talent so hearing it’s those things is a bit hurtful. Also, no one every asks why I want to go into cosmetology, do they ever think maybe I have a good reason? So here it is. I’m gonna tell you all right now why I want this to be my career because very few people have cared to know I guess.
A.) it’s something I enjoy and WANT to do.
B.) my main priority is that I want a family, and this job is perfect for that. I can be a stay at home mom, and work from my house to help support them too.
C.) I hope to volunteer at crisis pregnancy center to give the new mommy’s free beauty treatments. So that I can bless them in some small way.
B.) so that I can eventually start my own Christian reach out beauty business, targeted for mothers and their kids. So that they can come get a little special time for themselves. And they can bring the kids, knowing they can go to a child care class and learn about Jesus while mommy gets a break.
So those are my main reason for perusing this career. And I don’t think it’s shallow.

So anyways… New topic. Different songs and bands always remind me of certain people… whether it’s the lyrics bring a person to mind, or there is a special memory to it. Like, cocoamo by the beach boys will forever be sarah‘s. And sexy back - Justin timberlake - well it’s jake’s lol. Wanna know what song you are to me? Just ask! Cuz u probably have one, or a whole band - like Austin has the killers lol.

I know it’s classified as corny, but twilight is my literary crack. Haha especially breaking dawn, I read it twice over one weekend, and have read it tons of times lol. And I love the movie too. And it bothers me when people criticize it and say how dumb it is when they’ve never seen it! I mean, I dislike some things that I haven’t seen, but that’s because they’re horror films or something, and I never like them. But I’m not gonna argue with you on whether they’re good or not. I mean if you like them, then yay you, I wont diss that. So yeah I LOVE twilight, deal with it. (Personally I think most guys hate it just because they know Edward could get more ladies then they could. Some sort of pride thing.)

So today my random thought is the following;
Waiting on love isn’t so easy. But I believe it’s worth it. And for some reason I’ve set myself up for disappointment. Those are the thoughts figure them out if you can, continue living if you can’t.
Wow this is a looong post! Oh well!!
Peace out to my nifty home skillets! Love you all! Even the ones who don’t know I do =P

P.S. Promise me… we’ll be together forever in heaven

i'll make you believe. make you forget.

i've decided brie and i are freaks of nature. most everyone already knew that, but we are troublemakers, not double takers. well... not really. but we have done some pretty epic random things. like putting teddybears on lawnmower seats, wearing wendy cups on our heads, and inhaling "toxic lamp light fumes." nothing harmful, just dumb. lol we are pro's at freaking ppl out in the cars next to us at stoplights. at least we'll never see those ppl again.

so i also decided, i'm going to dye my hair. first dark chocolate brown... almost black. then i'll transition it to red. so...auburn. yesss (like a snake) auburn it will be!

i think i'm addicted to french fries... thats new!

did you know i have a hot pink cellphone!?! it's killer!

i like some things more then others, but brie i always like the best.

"oh my goodness!" i am a freak today, and i look like a frump...ick.

uhh JR just kicked my chair and i ignored him, thats awful.

i'm listening to swan song by brightwood, so pwettty!

i bought new shoes... they're sooo fly!

ok enough of me being a random freak.

i have so much school stuff to do this weekend, i think i might die before i finish it all.

that is fo sho a possibility.

peace out to the lovers of pomegrante jamba juices to the rest of you... go hop toads.

i have dreams of orca whales and dolls

So here’s the scoop…
I have several fears
Some are irrational..
Like my fear of scuba diving masks
Others aren’t so irrational.
Like my fear of certain large, human eating animals.
Like alligators.
But here’s my dilemma
MY DAD IS GETTING US ONE!
Seriously!

Who wants to go to bed every night knowing that right outside there house there is a large reptile coveting their flesh!?!
Yeah, I can say goodbye to peaceful sleep.
An alligator!
Oh my gosh!
Eekkk!
I’m so deathly afraid of them!
So here’s what happened when I discovered my dad’s absurd hankering for beastly Amanda eating reptiles…

Me: “NO! EEEEEWWW! WHY!?!”

dad: “for the pond”

Me: “no! the pond doesn’t want a monster in it! The thing will eat me I know it! Do you want me dead!?! I swear I‘ll kill it!”

dad: “the thing is a foot long! It’ll grow to be four feet after ten years, it cant possibly eat you!”

me: “four feet! that’s almost as big as me!”

Dad: “your mom wanted it. It‘s for her anniversary”

Me: “no… why would she want one!?! Her anniversary? What you gonna do tie a ribbon around it and say ‘here honey, here’s a nasty critter that can eat the kids.’”

Dad: *laughs*

Me: “well… if you get an alligator then….. I get a boyfriend!”

dad: "i don't think so.”

me: “well I do!!”

dad: “then I’ll get a really big gator so he can eat your boyfriend.”

Me: “you wouldn’t because you know it’d make me cry!”

...

So things are still unresolved… but jake gave me some hope!

He says it’s illegal,

oh goodness please let it be illegal!

catching planes, while thoughts are reverbing

This week was so many things…
Fabulous, exciting, exhausting, disgusting, shocking, splendid
I know it’s a strange combination, but it really was all of them combined.
Friday was prom, so it was supposed to be a divine day, right?
Well it started with heidi barfing all over me in the car… gag! I am quiet possibly the worst person around throw up, I see it and I automatically start getting sick too. I was sooo thankful that I hadn’t had breakfast, that way I only dry heaved since I had nothing to up chuck. I admit I was rather angry with heidi, It was everywhere! On me, her, and all over the car. *shudder* ick! But then I felt bad because obviously she was feeling worse then me.
ANYWAYS… I’m sure that’s just what you all wanted to hear. So, it made for a very stressful morning, and we (my mom drove and heidi went home) arrived at school two hours later then usual.
It could only get better than that tho, I mean how could it possibly get worse!
Brie, Katie, and I got ready for prom together and it was fabulous! They both looked so incredibly lovely! We went out to applebees with Katie’s date, and I think dinner was my favorite part of the night, =) “space man! No hanky pank you two! Can we get more of this amazing lemonade? Red and white make pink! You! Why are you so smart! jaclyn!” etc, etc. We certainly made some memories - and inside jokes!
Prom itself was not what I expected, cam has got to be the smallest school ever! But I still enjoyed dancing the night away! And the DJ played some pretty fab music, tho brie and I asked him to play right round (it‘s our song… and yes we know it‘s about a stripper), and he played sugar instead, go figure!
We went to Bryan’s for an after party, and watched oscar which I thought was a very funny movie, about a “gang leader who goes straight” (no he wasn’t gay, he just goes… clean?). I guess I liked the humor in it.
So it was a pretty divine night! =)
Saturday brie and I watched like five hours of a certain show… lol I don’t want to say which one, but it was strangely addicting tho the acting is more then lacking… haha.
Anyways, most of the weekend I spent sleeping! But I also enjoyed the sunshine.

So here’s what I learned:

* dancing all night in high heels… is unhealthy!
* Future dances will be attended with a date, my dad’s just gonna have to allow that.
* PDA… is awkward when it’s like… THAT.
* cam is the cleanest school ever, so innocent. And I actually love it. I’m glad that there is still a place where teenagers are in a decent atmosphere.
***
The rest is for me and those involved to know
And they know - they know it all ;)

Random Fact:
I go through fazes where only certain foods appeal to me, right now those foods are…
* Jam (boysenberry)
* Pineapple (fresh)
* Pringles
* Animal crackers
* Dried fruits (like cranberries, apricots, or peaches)

reasons to believe

i have been researching society/the beauty industries impact on women's self esteem..and i must say some of what i'm coming up with is ridiculous!

i read an article the other day that said short people are handicaped, lol really now?

and another said beauty is completely unatainable, so no one's beautiful.

i really like the topic, because it's...interesting...nothing like what i was expecting =]

today a bee stung me while i walked brie to her class, that nasty little critter- the bee, not brie. oh! and i got off of work today early, which was pleasant, (jake and i discovered that i'm fickle before i left) but now i get to wait for heidi to pick me up so we can go buy prom tickets!!!

so, i'm discovering that i REALLLLY enjoy driving that cart at work, making deliveries isn't so bad. =] when the sun is shining it makes for the perfect work day spent outdoors! it just needs like a boombox in there...or any sort of music device that we can blast.

random thoughts:

it's easy to take a giant leap of faith, when everyone tells you it's safe.

i took a facebook quiz, and it said i'm in love, i wish there was one that told me who i'm in love with!

grazed knees

if only washington had eternal sunshine that never went away! :)
that would be the absolute ultimate!
anyways,

today i got a blog because i need just one more form of technology to suck me into the dank dark abyss of cyberspace.
no just kidding! =P

today i'm in a rather splended mood, which is normal for me, but nice non the less.
i think it's because i painted my nails this pretty pink sparkly color that'll go great with my spring green prom dress :) thats a theory at least.
oh and since i dont have english this week, i only have ballroom dance and work today!
and after i get done with that whole shabang, sarah, heidi, and i are gonna got have a sisters day! it'll be lovely since we rarely get time like that anymore. so we're gonna go to the mall (sarahs gonna be having a makeover there so that we can see how we wanna gussy her up for the wedding), and then possibly dinner and a movie. :)
so i think thats the real reason i'm so joyful today!

now i'm gonna go spend time with my home slice (that'd be brie) so peace out my dill faces! :)